When I would ask my mother why she chose to have her children in her early twenties she explains that both she and my father wanted the opportunity to grow with their children. Both feared that being older parents would infringe upon their golden years together, and both felt that it would be easier, physically, to manage children at a younger age. Some other factors might have been familial support and religion. Though these are only a few reasons to have children early on, many couples are choosing to wait longer to have kids. Some of the benefits involved with waiting are the ability to complete education and pursue a career, establish marital relationships, allow time for emotional maturity, and economic, financial stability (Strong & Cohen, 2011, page 339). Unfortunately, I do not believe there is an ideal time for children. Being newly married, this topic has often crossed my mind: when will my husband and I be ready? A number of factors come to mind. We must finish school first, taking at least five years. After that we want my husband to have a stable occupation, and preferably on a career path, taking another two years. We would like to be in a nice house, which might take some time after my husband and I are in stable jobs, so an additional three years. These ten years of waiting seem like such a short span of time, but in ten years I will be in my early thirties and my husband will be in his mi-thirties, which presents some medical complications on my part. All of this being said, I feel there will always be another reason to push off having children. The best time to have children is when your heart wants it more than your mind does not. In this capitalist world, bearing and raising children is not logical. I believe that most women fear infertility, myself included. Having known a few women who have had to struggle with being childless involuntarily and it seems to be so emotionally draining. Having seen these women go through medical appointments, surgeries, adoption agencies, I would be absolutely devastated to be among them. However, I feel fortunate to have options such as adoption and in vitro fertilization available to me, despite the struggles with them and the cost. If I found that my husband and I were unable to conceive I would definitely opt for in vitro, and then adoption. Again, having known women who are unable to conceive or carry a child, it is heartbreaking to see such wonderful couples unable to afford the medical advances that could help build a family. I feel adoption should be less costly. There are a plethora of wonderful children that have to wait to be adopted because couple are unable to afford the adoption costs. I do think that the requirements to adopt are appropriate, but financially, I believe it is far too difficult to adopt. Though surrogacy and in vitro might be preferred options, I strongly believe that adoption saves lives, and not just the kids.
References
Strong, Bryan, Christine DeVault, and Theodore Cohen. "The Meaning of Marriage and the Family." The Marriage and Family Experience: Intimate Relationships in a Changing Society. 11th ed. Wadsworth: Wadsworth Cengage Learning, 2011. 615. Print.